This year I grieve the loss of many relationships, the final acceptance that many good things I desire are simply not to be, that many things I have invested my heart and time in will never return the favor.
This year I gratefully receive the gain of greater wisdom, deeper gratitude for the good things that are, broader perspective on myself and my world, and clearer perception of the few relationships and activities that are worth investing myself in.
This has been a year of tragedy and miracle, reconciliation and disruption, disillusionment and clarification. Grinding despair has flashed into scintillating joy, and bright promise has faded into the greyness of tedium and dreary disappointment.
As I stand in this moment, I see that every loss throughout my life has refined my understanding of my deepest values and the basis for my personal value. I know better what I love, why and how I must love, what I can let go of and what I must treasure and preserve.
I am not on a mountain, taking a clear view of the land about me. Neither am I in a valley, with no ability to see beyond the hills surrounding me. It’s as though I have paused at a wayside rest along the path. It’s on a gentle rise above the trees and I can see where I’ve been, the path winding through and over the hills. There’s a little fresh water here, a sun-warmed stone to sit on, and I can breathe the sweet air for a moment. As I look ahead, the path turns a corner, passing amongst trees and rolling ground.
I don’t know where we’re going, but I know better than I ever have what I must hold onto and what I can leave on the ground by this rock as I rise again to walk on.
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