We hide from each other in so many ways. We hide behind weapons, harsh words, a blank face, the latest styles or even behind “being nice”. We hide from ourselves just as much. We over-identify with our bodies and physical appearance, with particular societal or relational roles, or by immersing ourselves in distractions or in our own emotions.
On the most fundamental level, animals or people hide because they are afraid or feel threatened. With such a variety of ways of hiding, we must be afraid of a multitude of things, including apparently our own selves. And we appear to believe ourselves incapable of directly facing whatever we feel threatened by.
Life can certainly be overwhelming and defeating, and death overcomes the strongest of us in the end. But it isn’t only those who are oppressed by the heaviness of life that hide. It is just as frequently the powerful and privileged who do so, maybe even more often. It is as if, finding themselves behind heavy, seemingly impenetrable defenses, they settle in and look no further. The larger reality can seem inconsequential when we are ensconced within an effective illusion.
On one level, this is actually healthy. The world is too complex for any mind to fully process, too threatening for any body to survive and too cruel for any heart to contain. The healthy individual at some point draws lines in their life, and faces the challenges within those personal boundaries, creating a personally manageable world. What separates health from hiding is denial. When we do not realize the fragility and actual falseness of our forms of self-protection, we are deluded about the state of reality. We are then unable to judge the effects of our actions. We do real damage to ourselves and those around us, even when our intentions are good. Often we destroy our own defenses from within.
The tragedy of our hiding is how good at it we can become. We fool even ourselves and often rush to meet the very dangers we were originally avoiding. Facing reality is difficult and frightening, but avoiding it is no better. Shaking off our disguises and stepping out of our strongholds is a key part of learning to love wisely.
